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wow. two major shifts in one day.
first off i have decided i am not going back to the Philippines in the summer. i really want to ... like REALLY. i just dont see it happening. and not in a "god cant provide" kind of way but more in a fiscally and relationally irresponsible way. I would do an internship for a month there and then come back here and join with another ministry with preestablished relationships and projects in process? i don't think that would be responsible which sucks. i really wanted to.
the other major shift would be one of personal. Someone very close to me has decided to remove their pledge of purity. they had sex over summer and didnt want to any more. God had given me a purity ring and i felt him calling me to give it to them. i did, and they were joyed to have it. I recently was just given the purity ring back. their reason "they wanted to have sex" so they did. first i am confused. i thought they didn't want to . second, i am disappointed and sad because i am aware of the future of the path they are going down and its only destructive. this makes me want to shake them. and the only response they can give me is that " they don't want to talk about it, its personal" i understand that. but they wont even say that they are having sex. i just feel that's shameful and a denial of the guilt you feel inside. if you are going to pursue a destructive path at least own up to it. say 'yes, i am having sex'. simple right? and Thirdly, i am pissed. I am pissed at the events in their past that have lead to this. i am pissed at the hold that relationships and the needs for approval that they require from the opposite sex. i am pissed that the devil is having a hold on their life,m which is going to wreck their future; their amazing, world-changing future. so i am confused, disappointed, saddened, and pissed.