*Some of my old Stuff...*
A day of new beginnings
A day to learn from Scratch
Today was a day to remember
And this day I'd never give back
When it started
Such a frenzy
A crazy blur of fun.
And then when there was quiet time
My mind would still run.
And then I heard the scary news
That one so close would soon be lost
How to handle such an occasion
When my mind just wants to bolt
I buckled down my fear
And tied up my heart
But as the situation appeared
My Eyes began to weep
And the locks on my heart would break
For as I see her lying there
I realize that It could be anyone
This one so close to me in spirit
Would soon be far away from my body.
Oh how the day can change in such a rapid time.
For one moment I was somber
The next I saw the light.
For as we enjoyed this precious gift,
that many would call Life
We often take for granted
The choices that we make this day,
Affect our ever after.
The time with loved ones that we share
Should never be for granted.
For in those moments of looking in the eye
You breathe in an instant
a piece of their life
A portion of their soul.
What was this day but a day to experience.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Saturday, January 9, 2010
The Missing
*Some old Stuff...*
I lay awake
Pondering the hours
HOw long must I wait
Stuck in this trance
Reaching for you
But finding only space
Where are you?
Where have you gone
Maybe its not you've who's gone
Maybe it's me
I toss and turn
In a terror-stricken sleep
Waiting to breathe
Waiting to flee
But you whisper softly in my ear
Sweet words of courage
And great words of strength
In this way, I know you are near.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
I lay awake
Pondering the hours
HOw long must I wait
Stuck in this trance
Reaching for you
But finding only space
Where are you?
Where have you gone
Maybe its not you've who's gone
Maybe it's me
I toss and turn
In a terror-stricken sleep
Waiting to breathe
Waiting to flee
But you whisper softly in my ear
Sweet words of courage
And great words of strength
In this way, I know you are near.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
No One Except You
*some old stuff...*
On the Outside a beacon,The Inside a crumbling Tower.
Despair haunts me,
Sneaking to tear down my defenses.
No one Knows
No one Cares
No one listens
No one, except you Lord
But at times, it is not enough.
I need to Belong,
Even though, I am found in you
I need to be Comforted,
When even that is found fully in you.
I need the warm Embrace of a friend,
When I know You never stop embracing my heart.
No one Knows
No one Cares
No one listens
No one, except you Lord
Am I Insignificant or Invisible?
Either way, I am forgotten.
The room of my soul cries out in despair,
For someone, anyone to look and see worth.
No one Knows
No one Cares
No one listens
No one, except you Lord
But what am I to do?
I have Needs and desires for this life.
Yet, I know I cannot find true life until it is first given away.
To No One except You.
So I'll go on living in a haze
Because to step out into the light would bring more despair than healing.
But in the bottom of my heart I know,
There's life found in
NO ONE EXCEPT YOU.
Despair haunts me,
Sneaking to tear down my defenses.
No one Knows
No one Cares
No one listens
No one, except you Lord
But at times, it is not enough.
I need to Belong,
Even though, I am found in you
I need to be Comforted,
When even that is found fully in you.
I need the warm Embrace of a friend,
When I know You never stop embracing my heart.
No one Knows
No one Cares
No one listens
No one, except you Lord
Am I Insignificant or Invisible?
Either way, I am forgotten.
The room of my soul cries out in despair,
For someone, anyone to look and see worth.
No one Knows
No one Cares
No one listens
No one, except you Lord
But what am I to do?
I have Needs and desires for this life.
Yet, I know I cannot find true life until it is first given away.
To No One except You.
So I'll go on living in a haze
Because to step out into the light would bring more despair than healing.
But in the bottom of my heart I know,
There's life found in
NO ONE EXCEPT YOU.
Tuesday, April 01, 2008
Someday...
*Some old Stuff...*
A blank stare for the tragic life. She'd received them before but never had they hurt so bad. She finally let someone in , and in the breath of a moment they were gone. Taken from her by choice. She wasn't loveable. She wasn't worthy. She was a waste
They gave her looks of sympathy but they never know how much more it kills her to be the object of such stares. She cries in the dark to keep a strieght face in the light. When will they know her? Will they ever understand her pain. No, they can't. For they are not her, and there is no way for anyone to understand. Let them stare, she cries. She'll take it like everything else. One day it will make her stronger, though today is not that day.
When looking back she wonders if she ever saw it coming. Of course she didn't, she lies to herself. He was just weird and like that. But deep down she knows she did. She saw his eyes wander and his mouth fumble when he said her name. But she ignored it.
"He's busy and got too much on his mind for me to hold him accountable for such innocent mistakes" she lies. But to her it's truth. Or it was. Now it seems like a dream, a nightmare. Would she ever love again? Would life ever choose her to be happy again?
She waits and prays for the future to come. And believes that though they stare, she will be stronger.
Someday…
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
A blank stare for the tragic life. She'd received them before but never had they hurt so bad. She finally let someone in , and in the breath of a moment they were gone. Taken from her by choice. She wasn't loveable. She wasn't worthy. She was a waste
They gave her looks of sympathy but they never know how much more it kills her to be the object of such stares. She cries in the dark to keep a strieght face in the light. When will they know her? Will they ever understand her pain. No, they can't. For they are not her, and there is no way for anyone to understand. Let them stare, she cries. She'll take it like everything else. One day it will make her stronger, though today is not that day.
When looking back she wonders if she ever saw it coming. Of course she didn't, she lies to herself. He was just weird and like that. But deep down she knows she did. She saw his eyes wander and his mouth fumble when he said her name. But she ignored it.
"He's busy and got too much on his mind for me to hold him accountable for such innocent mistakes" she lies. But to her it's truth. Or it was. Now it seems like a dream, a nightmare. Would she ever love again? Would life ever choose her to be happy again?
She waits and prays for the future to come. And believes that though they stare, she will be stronger.
Someday…
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Gracie's Stairwell
*Some old stuff...*
A twisty stairwell began her decent into the depths. She's never been so low and far before as she was now. She could still here the laughter of the party above, but the voice in the darkness below called to her. It beckoned her on, pass some boundaries not crossed in years, some not ever. Grace never knew what called her to this time and this stairwell but she felt she must go on. The voice egged her on. Feeding her nonsense and ritual until she could think no longer. She was numb.
A sudden change occurred within' her. She remembered a time of peace and joy, serenity and comfort. Why would this time be brought to her now? Now, of all times, when she was most in the dark.. The one time of truth choose to captivate her and hold her hostage. She fought it.
She didn't want to be there. She didn't want to be happy. She desired to be void. And the voice in the darkness promised her this. Tired and devoid of hope she continued down the stairs. Yet part of her still contemplated that time of innocent peace. Why had she been so happy. There had been no real reason for her to be. But she was.
Her mind began to fight her body. Her Arms clammed with the effort of fighting and her knees shook with new found knowledge. She could rise again. She tried to turn to no avail. She was too far gone.
When Grace's hope was almost spent, she sent up a request. She had never been a true believer, though she had been known to be pious. She prayed for her memory to not die within these hallow halls, but for a new life to be born because of her sacrifice. To let her life be a reminder to all those, to keep close to their hearts the happy times and to not let the darkness take anything from those times.
She closed her eyes and waited for the touch of the voice. But it never came. She almost hoped it would, for though she wished on happy times she would rather die with this one memory then live with a fistful of any other. But it never did.
As she awoke, she knew that someone had given her a second chance. Her family and friends gathered to see Grace Harbor, patient number 145, emerge from her 2 yr coma, after a life-shattering car accident. She'd been given a second chance. And the Light one of her prayer would not be forgotten.
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
A twisty stairwell began her decent into the depths. She's never been so low and far before as she was now. She could still here the laughter of the party above, but the voice in the darkness below called to her. It beckoned her on, pass some boundaries not crossed in years, some not ever. Grace never knew what called her to this time and this stairwell but she felt she must go on. The voice egged her on. Feeding her nonsense and ritual until she could think no longer. She was numb.
A sudden change occurred within' her. She remembered a time of peace and joy, serenity and comfort. Why would this time be brought to her now? Now, of all times, when she was most in the dark.. The one time of truth choose to captivate her and hold her hostage. She fought it.
She didn't want to be there. She didn't want to be happy. She desired to be void. And the voice in the darkness promised her this. Tired and devoid of hope she continued down the stairs. Yet part of her still contemplated that time of innocent peace. Why had she been so happy. There had been no real reason for her to be. But she was.
Her mind began to fight her body. Her Arms clammed with the effort of fighting and her knees shook with new found knowledge. She could rise again. She tried to turn to no avail. She was too far gone.
When Grace's hope was almost spent, she sent up a request. She had never been a true believer, though she had been known to be pious. She prayed for her memory to not die within these hallow halls, but for a new life to be born because of her sacrifice. To let her life be a reminder to all those, to keep close to their hearts the happy times and to not let the darkness take anything from those times.
She closed her eyes and waited for the touch of the voice. But it never came. She almost hoped it would, for though she wished on happy times she would rather die with this one memory then live with a fistful of any other. But it never did.
As she awoke, she knew that someone had given her a second chance. Her family and friends gathered to see Grace Harbor, patient number 145, emerge from her 2 yr coma, after a life-shattering car accident. She'd been given a second chance. And the Light one of her prayer would not be forgotten.
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
its been a boring beginning of a year.
its been a boring beginning of a year.
i have been at home and my sisters house reading and not really doing much. my break of "intellectual" reading failed and i am now reading Brisinger b/c i never finished the series. everything is making me cry. i dont know why. maybe i just have let out any real emotions for a while. my house isnt as bad as i make it but at times its testing. i have decided to read through the old testament this year.
i am reading a book about being a good woman. i don't know. i have issues with that. don't we all. this is my year resolution. I want to see myself as God sees me. and to be confident in my own skin. I know that there is so much more that God wants me to experience his love for me, the truly unique expression of himself that i am. it going to be hard. i need to make sure i journal more. i need to take the time to solidly get the thoughts out of my head and concrete... yep yep
i am also confused about boys. i don't ... yeah. i need to make sure that i am not pursuing them to gain identity. i need to make sure that my ideals and ideas are accurate representations not only of who boys/people/i are/am but of who they are changing into and who they are meant to become. this is confusing to say the least. i dont see myself with a boyfriend anytime soon but.... i need to at least try to figure this crazy thing out... yep yep
i have been at home and my sisters house reading and not really doing much. my break of "intellectual" reading failed and i am now reading Brisinger b/c i never finished the series. everything is making me cry. i dont know why. maybe i just have let out any real emotions for a while. my house isnt as bad as i make it but at times its testing. i have decided to read through the old testament this year.
i am reading a book about being a good woman. i don't know. i have issues with that. don't we all. this is my year resolution. I want to see myself as God sees me. and to be confident in my own skin. I know that there is so much more that God wants me to experience his love for me, the truly unique expression of himself that i am. it going to be hard. i need to make sure i journal more. i need to take the time to solidly get the thoughts out of my head and concrete... yep yep
i am also confused about boys. i don't ... yeah. i need to make sure that i am not pursuing them to gain identity. i need to make sure that my ideals and ideas are accurate representations not only of who boys/people/i are/am but of who they are changing into and who they are meant to become. this is confusing to say the least. i dont see myself with a boyfriend anytime soon but.... i need to at least try to figure this crazy thing out... yep yep
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