I was having a good day... when i got that horrible call of all my family trying to get a hold of me. it was like 12:54pm and my dad was on his way to the E.R. with chest pain... i freaked out. by God's grace Katie was there and the prayer chapel was empty. but i froze... like couldn't think. I never really think of my dad as seriously old.. though he's technically 50... yeah. so do what i do best.. bottle it up and find something to do with my hands and mouth so that i dont have to think, talk, or respond to my situation, i become a machine. its scary though how good i have gotten at this... i just go on with life and ignore the circumstance... at times this could be helpful... but paired with this innate intense reaction to just shut down it proves to be quite detrimental to my health and welfare. During the next few 1/2 hours i am attached to my phone like no other.
SOO yeah. i distracted myself for a while since it was kinda pointless to go to the hospital and passed out dresses from the dress closet. i then borrowed bree's car..(i need to give her present for car usage).. and drove to the hospital. as i was driving samm calls but there's a cop so i hung up on her. WORST NIGHTMARE. i immediately call her back wonderin why she called and she tells me that dad is ok, and that they are going to get taco bell. I meet them there and get the story.
basically dad wasnt feeling good and then he got really blury eyes. HE went to the medical center and they sent him to hospital. they gave him asprin but they still needed to run a few tests.
Seeing my dad with all those wires attatched scared the crap out of me. I didnt let it show but i had never *really* thought about my dad dying till them... and he's is at risk. he's 50, a 2x smoker, stress up the wahzoo, and in a physical labor job...ahha. i dont know. he was still dad still joking/being serious about them letting him out for a cigerette before he killed someone, excited about getting to pee in a bottle and wanting my mom to take a picture, but i dont know... scary.
Then there was also the lady in the waiting room who was crying out in pain and all i wanted was to be Jesus and be able to comfort and heal her. it tore me apart to see her in pain as i was talking about God....
THEN i gave away my purity... ring. samm has been askign for one and she liked mine soo much.. i didnt want to let it go... but she needed it more than me... it just sucks because i really liked that ring and now my hand feels naked...
THEn I came back, zoned out to a horrible movie, was too lazy to more, helped a friend with homework, wrote the letter to my samaritan's purse child and uploaded pictures, and wrote this.
THE POINT BEING... I LOVE MY DAD.
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